Cyber Sex is a Masquerade Ball--
But the Police Just Don't (Won't?) Get It!

You might be surprised how cyber sex originated on the Internet. Before it was even called the
Internet, a small group of scientists were connected over a network with their computers. This network was for the exchange of highly scientific and theoretical research ideas. The scientists
were mainly men because few women were educated in such scientific fields and fewer had the
funds to own a computer. However, there were a few women and one day an unknown female
scientist sent a sexually explicit and provocative communication over the network to the men.
She was totally anonymous. The men were shocked by what they perceived as the misuse of their
scientific research network; even so they liked it and started sending back anonymous responses
to the woman. And thus, cyber sex was created, a phenomenon that was instigated by a woman,
not men.

It is interesting to understand some of the social aspects for this new expression of human
sexuality. Throughout all time women have been traditionally taught by society to repress their
sexuality. The women had to be both the "good girl" and eventually the "good" mother. In other
words they were expected to be virginal before marriage and then faithful during marriage.
However, society expected and sanctioned men to be "bad" boys and to express their sexuality
in a variety of ways. The Internet provided women with the freedom to ignore societal restraints
on their sexuality and become the "bad girl" who could safely engage in all sorts of sexual
fantasies through "cyber sex". There was no social stigma attached because they could remain anonymous. Women also couldn't get pregnant, catch AIDS or be infected with STD's.

After having a great round of cyber sex she could meet her husband/boyfriend and be the
"good" girl or good" mother and pick up her children from school. Women had found a place
to safely experiment and explore their sexuality without any social stigma attached. The men
were not far behind. Those that engaged in cyber sex were quick to learn that the ultimate sex
organ was not the penis or the vagina. The ultimate sex organ is the human mind. The Internet allowed the fifty-year-old mother of five to go on line and be sixteen, engage in cyber sex
and loose her virginity on a Friday night. On Saturday she could loose her virginity again. She
was engaged in role-playing. Likewise, men could pretend to have sex multiple times a night
with a variety of women. And for gay men and women, they too found a safe place to meet and
enjoy sex without shame or stigma. Few people realize that Internet providers actively pursued
gay communities in order to promote on-line business through anonymous chat rooms.

People experimented with their sexuality over the Internet in a number of ways: by role-playing
as a heterosexual when they were homosexual; role -playing as a homosexual when they were
heterosexual; role-playing as a man when they were a women; role-playing as a women when
they were a man; role playing as a minor when they were an adult; and minors also got on line
and pretended to be adults. It became common knowledge in the Internet sex world that cyber
sex was role-playing-- acting out fantasies-- and one never knew what was real and what was
fantasy about the person with whom they were chatting. Eventually no one believed that the other
person's on-line profile was actually real.

The Internet became a masquerade ball in cyberspace. Everyone was protected by a mask of
anonymity that hid their true identity. Was that a gorgeous blond women you just had cyber sex
with or was it really a man? You had no way of knowing. Someone even developed a game on
the Internet of trying to "unmask" the other person in order to find out what was real and what
was fantasy. Let's continue in this mind set: If the person you met in a chat room sent you a
picture, was the picture real or fake? There was no way of knowing what was real and what was
fantasy without actually meeting face to face. So people started asking to meet. Often this was
done over the phone in order to learn something about the other person. Actual meetings were usually in public places. Sometimes one person would show up and hide just to see the other
person. "Can we meet at the mall and look at each other across the atrium" might be a typical
request for this kind of encounter.

Into this world of fantasy and role-playing comes the police officer who pretends to be thirteen.
But he is not participating in this fantasy for his own exploration, he has another agenda and
that is setting up a sting operation. However, if the person chatting with "cyber minor" doesn't
truly believe that "cyber minor" is actually thirteen, then there is no attempted child molestation.
If the person chatting with "cyber minor" doesn't really believe that "cyber minor" is in reality a
minor, the "cyber sex" cannot be harmful material. It also follows that if the person talking to the
"cyber minor" doesn't believe that "cyber minor" is truly a minor, sending a nude photo of oneself
cannot be sending harmful matter to a minor.

Internet sting cases are unique in that almost all of the facts of the case are uncontested.
The police make direct copies of the chats. If a phone call is made, the police records the phone
call. In all of the cases that our office has seen, the adult on the chat transcript reveals that he doesn't necessary believe the profile of the other person. In all of the cases that we have seen,
the suspect enters into a game of unmasking the cyber partner in order to determine what is
reality. In the very chat transcripts and the audio tapes is the defense theory, which is predicated
on the very nature of cyberspace: the anonymity that affords one the freedom to explore all fantasies, whether sexual or not. The logical conclusion is that if the suspect believes in good faith
that all that is happening is merely fantasy, he has not attempted to commit any crime.

HOWEVER, THE POLICE JUST DON'T--AND WON'T--GET IT. THEY NO NOT UNDERSTAND
THAT INTERNET SEX IS LIKE A MASQUERADE BALL AND PART OF THAT FUN IS TO UNMASK
THE CYBER PERSON. Until the police--and the criminal justice system-- realizes this, innocent
people who are just having fun on the Internet are going to be falsely arrested and falsely
accused of being sexual predators and child molesters. The Supreme Court still hasn't outlawed
fantasy-- but beware of the mind police who do not understand the fundamental principles of
cyberspace sex.

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